[ That startled moment is lucky enough to escape Sir Godfrey's notice - but he might as well have his hand around his heart for how that light squeeze tightens in his chest.
Godfrey settles down deliberately; near to him, near enough to still be joined by the gentle clasp of their hands, but only so near. Open, but not imposing. Godfrey knew well enough that it was Astarion who ought to have control over how close they would come. So it is that Godfrey settles back and stretches his legs before him, propped up at his elbow to rest facing Astarion, still cradling his hand in his in the short space between them.
He studies their hands together, the stark paleness of his skin against Godfrey's own rosy tone. Astarion will see his downcast eyes cringe as his smile touches them, breaking his solemn and thoughtful silence - the humour still flashing in them when he does look up and let his gaze linger on him, his face softening after a thin moment too long.
Then, he looks back down, lets himself indulge in Astarion's delicate wristbone, his pale fingers. He touches gently the fingers of his other hand against the peaks of his thin knuckles. ]
I know that I am not as... available, in this regard, as some others.
[ This is spoken softly, and with apology. He swallows. ]
It has not been solely that I thought you spoke in jest. I have not courted, or been courted, since-- my husband. I have thought it impossible that I would ever be again, for so long. I do not tell you this to make my burden yours, I wish for nothing less than to burden you. But I want to speak plainly of this, that you know and may decide yourself if I can give you what you seek from us, because--
[ He brushes the warmth of his hand over Astarion's, then, and sighs briskly, brow knotting. For as much as he wished it, he couldn't spend the rest of this conversation avoiding his eyes. He gives himself a moment, then, lifts his eyes to Astarion's, in gentle and quiet resolve. ]
I do care for you, Astarion. Whatever is decided here, if you take only one sentiment to your heart, let it be this - for you will not change it. I have come to care for you, very much.
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Godfrey settles down deliberately; near to him, near enough to still be joined by the gentle clasp of their hands, but only so near. Open, but not imposing. Godfrey knew well enough that it was Astarion who ought to have control over how close they would come. So it is that Godfrey settles back and stretches his legs before him, propped up at his elbow to rest facing Astarion, still cradling his hand in his in the short space between them.
He studies their hands together, the stark paleness of his skin against Godfrey's own rosy tone. Astarion will see his downcast eyes cringe as his smile touches them, breaking his solemn and thoughtful silence - the humour still flashing in them when he does look up and let his gaze linger on him, his face softening after a thin moment too long.
Then, he looks back down, lets himself indulge in Astarion's delicate wristbone, his pale fingers. He touches gently the fingers of his other hand against the peaks of his thin knuckles. ]
I know that I am not as... available, in this regard, as some others.
[ This is spoken softly, and with apology. He swallows. ]
It has not been solely that I thought you spoke in jest. I have not courted, or been courted, since-- my husband. I have thought it impossible that I would ever be again, for so long. I do not tell you this to make my burden yours, I wish for nothing less than to burden you. But I want to speak plainly of this, that you know and may decide yourself if I can give you what you seek from us, because--
[ He brushes the warmth of his hand over Astarion's, then, and sighs briskly, brow knotting. For as much as he wished it, he couldn't spend the rest of this conversation avoiding his eyes. He gives himself a moment, then, lifts his eyes to Astarion's, in gentle and quiet resolve. ]
I do care for you, Astarion. Whatever is decided here, if you take only one sentiment to your heart, let it be this - for you will not change it. I have come to care for you, very much.